Here we are, still in Perth, and doing our best to pretend we are west coast natives.
The latest news is that Ms Kristy Ann Baeffel has broken 3 fingers on 2 hands! Football injury of course! Going for the mark that she didn’t get, she busted up her hand! Kristy ran off the field, where the nurse promptly re-located the ‘dislocated’ finger- not realising that it was actually broken. Ummmm.... OUCH!!!!!! We had Gen and Trent coming for dinner that night, and at this stage we thought only one finger was broken, so we didn’t go to the hospital (actually, we didn’t want to miss our feast with Gen and Trent), anyway, Kristy sucked up the pain and enjoyed telling the story of her dislocation. The next day, I took 4 hours off work and took Kristy to the hospital, where we were told she had broken the three fingers. At this point we were like “ohhhhhhhh” and “Ahhhhhhhh” and “shiiiiiitttttttt”. It wasn’t until Kristy tried to go to work, where they quickly called her a “liability” and told her not to come in until full doctor clearance. Full doctor clearance is in 4 weeks, so that is 4 weeks off work, with NO sick pay! That is FOUR weeks of NO pay! Then we were saying “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” and “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG” and we moved up from “Shiiiiiittttttt” to the F Bomb! (I even think Kristy said the C word!!!!!!!).
So for the past week, Kristy has been the housewife, while I go to work and earn the money to keep her in the lifestyle to which she is rapidly becoming accustomed. Note – she LOATHES doing the housework, and she is actually not that good at it (sorry babe, but you know it is true). Having said that Kristy is not that good at housework, I need to also let you know that I am a wee bit too anal about it. You can imagine that this NEVER causes us to argue, because I NEVER get grumpy that she is slack in doing the housework, and she NEVER gets grumpy at me because I’m too picky! Both of us know that Kristy is way more suited to being the husband than the wife. However, while she dislikes the whole housework side of things, she sure does seem enthusiastic about sleeping in until midday! And she doesn’t mind watching all those DVDs in the middle of the day, or chatting on the phone for hours, or going for a jog, or eating lamingtons from the pantry whenever she feels the urge. Hmmmpfff, broken fingers a liability? Can someone snap a few of my digits please.
Kristy, the weekend before she busted her phalanges, arranged a pamper night for me. Is she not the BESTEST gf in the world??!! She got a really good discount through a group called Scoupons – it consisted of a body scrub, a hot stone massage and a body wrap, all for the unbelievable price of $70! I was so very impressed with this deal! So on the Saturday night, Kristy drove me to the address. I was excited! I really did need the pampering!
The place was just a little unit in the middle of suburbia, which I found odd, because I really thought, given what was on offer, that I would be at a Day Spa. However, I was not to be put off, especially given that I operate my massage business from a home studio. I step in the door and this woman has converted her lounge, kitchen and bathroom to a treatment area. Please note that I am using the words “converted” and “treatment” loosely. Let me describe the therapist (another word I am using loosely). She was a size 6, she wore socks with thongs, she had on a white (dirty) see through top and a black bra. She did not look very professional at all. In addition, she told me that she had x-ray vision, she was psychic and she proudly stated that everything she had learned about massage and beauty treatments, she had learned from the internet. Although she was a really nice person, I did have some doubts regarding her qualifications, experience and credibility. But she was nice. And it was cheap. So I stayed (Kristy had already driven away, what else could I do??).
I started off the pampering package with the body wrap. The therapist was cooking the bandages on her stove and she brought them into the bathroom. I stood naked (except for my knickers) in her shower recess. I noticed that the toilet seat was up, that someone had peed, and that she hadn’t flushed the toilet! Yes, it is always professional – that sweet smell of urine! The woman then started wrapping me in the hot bandages, from my knees to my boobs. I swear that she touched my vagina and nipples so many times when she was wrapping the bandages that I think we need to get married! Anyway, (while I wipe that memory from my mind), the bandages were interesting, and when I asked what she had soaked them in, she said cayenne pepper was a main ingredient. She said that she had never actually tried this treatment on herself, but she was sure it would be okay. I then went and sat in the lounge, where she proceeded to massage another client, who had arrived the same time as me (yes, we were both in the same room). I sat on her plastic covered lounge chair, and started to text some friends, telling them of my ordeal. I also texted Kristy, telling her not to be late in picking me up, because it was all a little strange, and I was slightly fearful of what was yet to happen. The bandages proceeded to cool down quickly, and cold, soggy bandages don’t feel good! Ironically, the cayenne pepper meant that, while my skin felt soggy and cold, it also felt like it was burning off! At one stage I had to stand up and pace because the pain was so bad. I told her that maybe it was time for the bandages to come off, but she said, “No, leave it for another 5 minutes.” Bloody hell!
Eventually the bandages from hell were removed, and I thought, “Well, at least she can’t stuff up the hot stone massage” (wishful thinking). I have given a number of hot stone massages (when working at Ayers Rock Resort) so I know that they are BEAUTIFUL! Anyway, this lady had a different way of giving me a hot stone massage. She did not actually hold the stones in her hand and massage me. Basically, she laid me face up on a massage table, took a lot of hot stones out of a fry pan and piled them all on my stomach in a heap. I breathed too deeply at one stage and a couple of stones smashed to the ground. Yes, very relaxing – the sound of shattering stones should be made into a CD to help promote sleep (please tell me you recognised the sarcasm).
After she had body wrapped the other client (and I felt her pain!), she then came back to me and body scrubbed me – with her own special formula, and then, when I was least expecting it, she slapped a face mask on me. Now, for those who know me well, you know I would not have liked this! I am VERY careful about what I put on my face, and I spend a lot of money on the right products. So suddenly, I have this mask on my face, and I ask her, “What is the mask made of and what does it do?” She tells me it is made of coffee and sugar (coffee! I don’t even drink it, let alone put it on my skin!) and she tells me it is not only a mask, but it is also a cleanser, a scrub, a toner and moisturizer. Interesting that the coffee can do all that (just to be clear – yes it was Nescafe). I don’t think she liked me asking questions, because she then put a cold, wet face washer over my face, while she continued to scrub me. I felt like I was suffocating! Every time I breathed in, the face washer sucked into my nostrils!
Eventually she wiped the mask off, and wiped off the body scrub, and the massage began. The other client had left by the this stage (on the inside I was screaming, “Noooo, don’t leave me!”). I knew time was marching on, and the Kristy would be here soon to get me (Hurry up KB!), however for some mad, crazy reason, Kristy arrived and sat outside in the car waiting for me.... even though I had text earlier (when I was body wrapped in Cayenne Pepper) and told her to come in when she arrived. Kristy tells me she was outside texting with Rahni and Alisa! Rahni told her to commando roll to the door and kick it in. What did Kristy eventually do? After half an hour of sitting in the car, she quietly and tentatively knocks on the door. Where was the knight in shining armour?? Anyway, I didn’t care, because once she arrived, I was able to be released. I got dressed, flushed the toilet (it should have been done 2 hours before!) and got the hell outa there! Kristy had cooked for me a yummy roast chicken after my ‘pampering’ but unfortunately, she had accidently left the oven on, so by the time we got home and got it all out of the oven, we ate black roast potatoes and a VERY crispy chicken (and did you know that carrots can shrink to a quarter of their size if they are over-roasted!).
While I did not get the pampering night that Kristy had hoped I would get, i got something better – a night I will never, ever forget and will continue to laugh about for many years to come. But hell no, I’m not going back! It would not be funny a second time!!!! And just a warning to you all – beware of Scoupons, and of people who wear socks and thongs together.
It has been very wild and woolly here in Perth. Lots of trees and bits of trees have blown down. We have two main trees near our balcony. Their names are Josephine and Milo (Milo is the skinnier tree). I hope they remain in tact tonight. I’m worried about Milo!
On a really sad note, Kristy’s pet dog, Zoey, passed away. Little Puggie Pug! I feel so sad for Kristy, Anita and Mark. Zoey was very much loved and so very, very cute. She will be missed. Thank you Sarah for sending the photo, it is up on our bookcase and Kristy looks at it every day.
Kristy misses her pets, and though it is not the same, we still have our half pet Snowy the cat (remember – she is not even snow like) and Snowy comes in and out like she owns our place. She is even getting fussy about what she eats! And we have another pet called Sampson! Sampson is very spoilt and even gets to sleep in our room, but he is quiet, so it is okay. I did not think Kristy would be able to handle Sampson being so close, but surprisingly she seems okay with him. Sampson is the Daddy-Long-Legs who lives in the corner near the ceiling.
Oh, funny thing happened at work the other day. Hannah is our receptionist, and she really helps me out with odd jobs, like photocopying and stuff. I always try to give her little treats when I can. Anyway, there were some left over muffins from a catered meeting, so I took one of the muffins and put it on her desk for her. She was talking to someone at reception when I took the muffin down, so I kinda hid it to the side, so the guest wouldn’t see it. I went back upstairs and emailed Hannah, and said “The muffin is for you.” This all makes perfect sense – yes? Well, yes it does IF SHE HAD SEEN THE MUFFIN! Imagine getting a random email from me saying “The muffin is for you”. You could make that have so many meanings!!!! So Hannah hadn’t seen the muffin, and she gets the email from me, and she doesn’t know what it means or what she should do! Later I go downstairs, see she hasn’t eaten the muffin, and I say to her, “Are you saving it?” She looks at me with a combination of confusion and suspicion (looking back, I do not blame her!). She understand nothing because all she has heard from me is “The muffin is for you” and “Are you saving it?” At this point, luckily, I point to the muffin, and then her face clears, and it all makes sense to her! Next time the muffin will be put in full view, even if there is a guest. Isn’t that a funny little muffin story!
One more funny story... about Kristy of course. You know how she gets sayings and mottos mixed up, well the other day she was talking to a work colleague. They said to her that she had a very grounded personality, and Kristy said, “Yes, and I am also very fun and loving.” They said, “Oh you mean fun loving?” and Kristy (because she honestly didn’t know that the wording actually is “fun loving”) said, “Oh no, I am fun AND LOVING!” Hmmmm, if someone said to me that they were fun AND LOVING, I would think that they were about to ask me out on a date!
We have visitors coming! We love it when people come to see us! Soon Darren will be here, and then Suzie and Theo. And Andy is coming to live up here – in the same suburb as us!!! YAY!!
I need to stop writing now. To summarize the rest of it – we continue to live happily (mostly) in our own Seinfeld episode, my back is very sore, my work is busy, Kristy is bored, we have 100 km winds, Kristy has lost 9 kilos (damn her! I am still the fatty!), I listened to Counting Crows the other day and still luv them, we are coming to Melbourne next week, Mel and Elle are well, Logan has moved to Melbourne, I was glad to speak to Deb Lewis – hugs, it’s almost my birthday, we are looking forward to seeing Kristy’s Nan, Mick and Sarah now have a talking bird (Darla) and Kristy and I are planning the next leg of our adventure (not sure when, but we know where – Broome then Darwin!!). Big hugs to Mandy and Sue - thinking of you gorgeous women. Xx
I will sign off with Kristy’s word of the month – TOUCHE! (I’m not kidding, this really is her favourite word at the moment!).
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Still In Perth and going strong
Its been 3 months since I last wrote the blog, and Kristy and I are now well and truly settled in Perth. Kristy and I still love our apartment, the view from the balcony, and that we live close to everything we need. Interestingly, we are 3 minutes walk (if that) to the supermarket, but still Kristy wants to drive!
Speaking of driving, we have another car! Well, I have another car – it is a brand new Mitsubishi ASX, 4-wheel drive. No, no, I have not purchased a brand new car (as if!!! I don’t believe in buying brand new cars – they lose 25% of value as soon as you drive them out of the dealership!). So I hear you all asking, “So why does Linda have a brand new car if she is so against a brand new car?” Well, the answer is simple, I have a job that comes with a brand new car! Yay! And I have to say, this gorgeous silver car is a dream to drive compared to the Van! I love the van, but it sure is good to drive a zippy car that has heating and airconditioning. And... when I take the keys out of the ignition, the car says “See You!” to me (such a friendly!).
My new job is working for Baptistcare, in their HR area, within Learning & Development (of course, because that is what I do!). I have been at Baptistcare for about 6 weeks now, and I have to say that I have not ever worked for an organisation that is so lovely! Baptistcare is very committed to its Values and mission, and that really comes through in its culture. I have worked for, and with, some amazing people (e.g. Cathy, Suzie, Victoria, Peter, Robyn, Marie, Virginia, Quynh, Donna, Agnieszka, Kerrie, Karen, Erin, etc) but never have I worked for a place where EVERYONE wants to be helpful, sharing and works to make it easier and better for everyone. Also, Baptistcare are fully focused on the clients and residents, and everything they do, and every meeting they have, is about making the services better for the elderly, physically disabled and mentally disabled. I am loving the work that I am doing, however it is super busy at the moment and I find myself working 10 hours a day at times. I am currently in the process of recruiting a Training Officer so that I do not have to work these sort of hours forever. I even went into work today, Saturday! Well, aside from that there is a lot to do, I need the money, so all good. Kristy also went into work today. She did 45 minutes work to be paid a minimum of 4 hours!
On top of the work i am doing for Baptistcare, i am also running my part-time massage/beauty business in the evenings and on the weekends, and that business is really starting to take off! In fact, I am working all this Sunday doing massage. Ahhh, no rest for the wicked (thank God, cos it’s waaaaay more fun to be wicked than it is being good!)!
Oh, I almost forgot to mention, aside from Baptistcare being the truly nicest organisation in the world, they are also VERY respectable (uh oh). Some business meetings even start with a prayer – which I quite like, even though it is new to me (I like anything with a bit of ritual, pomp or ceremony!). And because we are a Baptist organisation, there is no gambling, drinking or swearing in the office. So, that means no alcoholic drinks on a Friday afternoon, no footy tipping (and they love their footy over here!) and people say “Oh Gosh!” instead of swearing. Although I am sure I have heard the occasion cuss word accidently slip out quietly under someone’s breath (scandalous!) and I maybe have, (just MAYBE I have), had a Terests moment, and dropped the F bomb (opps), but I am sure I had legal reason for doing so (actually I know exactly the reason – damn f@#*ing Excel formulas!). On a side note, I have yet to show my tattoo (haven’t seen one other person there with a tattoo!) and I have come out as gay only to my boss (the timing just hasn’t been right with the others yet – or maybe I am just scared – but scared of what??? Seriously, they are just Baptists, not murderers!)
Kristy is very tired these days, she is working long hours, but still enjoying her job. She likes it best when she drives out to Garden Island – which is an island where the HMAS Stirling is – that is a big naval ship. Garden Island is a navy island – a whole island, just for them! She doesn’t like delivering to Shell much though, they take her phone off her when she goes in there – sorry Kristy, no “Words With Friends” (game she plays on her iPhone) when you are in Shell! To be fair, who doesn’t love that game – “Words With Friends” – very addictive (Sarah, you would have to agree!) And I’m so competitive, I do NOT like losing (yes, Rahni and Alisa – prepare to never win again when you play against me!). If anyone out there wants to have a go with me, then add me – I am Lindaw333. Peter, if you are reading this – do not use cheats anymore – it’s just not sporting!!
I see in the last blog that I mentioned that Kristy and I were going to Rottnest Island. Yes, well, we went. It was average. It was too cold for snorkelling, so essentially, the Island Adventure was a little drab. Apparently the beauty of Rottnest is under the water, not above it, so we missed it. Still, it was fun to take the ferry out there (was only fun cos I took my anti-nausea pills first!) After taking the only bus around the Island – which was very crowded because it was cheapass Tuesday, we then sat on the grass and ate Easter eggs (mmmmmm).
We did see some Quokkas while we were on the island, so action did occur for about 3 minutes! Quokkas are actually nocturnal animals, however they raced pretty quickly out of the bush when Kristy dropped her huge chicken roll on the ground! This was the very same roll that was a foot long and she was boasting that it would last her all day. Hmm, I think she had 3 bites of it before it hit the dirt – and she just stared at it in shock when it was on the ground, in pieces. Then the little furry quokkas came out and started eating it! I touched a quokka (which looks like a cross between a rat and a small wallaby) but Kristy went one better and picked one up! I have the proof in a photo of Kristy holding a quokka up under its armpits (and I think, in that photo, you can see the remains of that chicken roll on the ground – is probably under the big sign that says “Don’t feed the Quokkas”).
Kristy is now playing football for the East Freemantle Sharks, and what a team they are! Like the people at my work, these footy gals are very friendly (must be that Perth people are just mostly lovely!) Also, they are a good team – they are undefeated! And (fanfare please and drum roll in your own heads) Kristy has now played a 100 games of football! This is quite an achievement. And the East Freeo Sharks did a banner for her and everything (although it was a couple of games after her 100th game, cos we all actually didn’t realise that she was playing her 100th game when she played it!–ooops!). Kristy is the BEST player in the team, and that is saying something cos the whole team is good. I am probably bias though, and when I am watching the game, I am only really watching her. Funny though, Kristy can come home from football totally black and blue, with massive bruising and scraps, and not really complain about how she was thrown to the ground and stomped on in a footy match, yet...if I accidently bump her little finger at home, she becomes a major sook – what is that about??? Kristy says it is because, when she is on the field, she is in “the zone”. I say, “toughen up princess” and be in “the zone” when you are at home (I don’t really say that, but I want to!)
Omg, that reminds me, Kristy has said 2 really funny things lately (what would a blog be without a Kristy-ism or two, or more). Karen and Nardie had come to visit us (love you guys – come again!) and we were driving to Margaret River (Kristy and I would live there if we could) and we were all in the car, and talking about babies. Three of us have had children (Karen, Nardie and me), but Kristy has not had children yet. We were saying how it is easy to put on weight after having children. Kristy said, “Well, don’t you lose weight when you are milking the baby?” Yes, you read that right... instead of saying “breastfeeding” she said “milking”. God I love her!
Oh, and also, the other day, we were walking down the street, and I was saying how we should take advantage of a sale that was currently on. And Kristy said, “Yes, we don’t want to knock a gift horse in the mouth.” When you think about it, that sounds much better than “looking” a gift horse in the mouth, doesn’t it!? However, my favourite of her mispronounced mottos would have to be when she told me that, in her group, there were too many CHEFS and not enough Indians. Gold.
Jake came to visit us in Perth too – it was so lovely to see her. With Jake, we went to one of the two gay nightclubs in Perth – The Court. Only 2 gay nightclubs! I’m so used to Melbourne where we have choices! The Court is very popular here, but I have to say that it was filled with a lot of straight couples – weird! You just wouldn’t find that in Melbourne – a gay club filled mostly with straight people. However, the crowd was good and the music was dancie, so we had a fun time.
It is very interesting, and slightly disconcerting, sometimes living here in Perth. Every suburb sounds like it should be 2 hours away and down the coast, (eg Salter Point) and a lot of the time I don’t know what is close by, or “up South” or “down North” or in the “wheat-belt”. When people say to me, “Oh just go up the Kwinana Fwy” I have no idea what direction to go in! And instead of saying “OH&S” here, they say “OSH” (can’t tell you how long it took me to realise that they were talking about the same thing!). At work (like at any workplace) they use a lot of acronyms. For a while it was like another language, however now I actually know what someone is actually saying when they tell me to check the ACC OSH DVD for the BSO at DBC (I’m not kidding – this is a true conversation!)
Interestingly too, in my new workplace, I have been trained up In Cert II Manutention (which is a fancy French form of manual handling). I delivered a short session the other day on the Fundamentals of Manutention and backcare, and someone in the group assumed that I was a physiotherapist! I really did wing that one well! The Manutention course was fun – I would come home each night and practice on Kristy. I can now flip someone onto a bed before they know what is happening – and I can make someone sit down or stand up, even if they don’t want to, just by touching and flexing certain spots on their body! Perhaps these things will one day come in handy?? If not, is just a fun skill to have. I have also delivered sessions on Infection Control - I know the really proper way to wash hands now (this totally supports my germ phobia – yay!)
Oh, a funny (well, not funny, more like ‘slightly amusing’) story – in the Manutention course -- I was putting out the lunch (it was catered for) and as I lifted the party pies and mini quiches out of the hot cabinet, the bowl of tomato sauce dropped. Luckily (please inject a facetious tone) that bowl of sauce landed on my foot. While it did have the “ouch” factor, and I said, very loudly, “OH NO”, sauce on the foot is obviously not a life-threatening event. HOWEVER the others in the group did not see what dropped on my foot. All they heard me saying was OH NO and all they saw was all this red, thick stuff on my foot. They thought it was blood!
People rushed over.
I explained that it wasn’t blood.
People backed off (no-one wanted to clean the sauce off my foot – wonder why!)
People had to eat party pies without sauce that day.
People said to me that I was not to unpack the catering in the future!
Oh yes, and we now have a ½ pet. Well it is not ½ a pet (obviously, because that would be gross), but we spend some time with a pet that belongs to someone else. This is, of course, Kristy’s doing. Snowy (Kristy has even named this pet) the Cat now regularly comes to our place, crying (loudly) in misery to be fed. Kristy feels very sorry for Snowy so she feeds Snowy (mind you, Snowy has a home 2 doors down, and is quite a big, healthy looking cat). As we don’t ‘officially’ own a cat, we don’t have catfood. So lucky Snowy gets given salmon (mine), tuna (Kristys) and roast chicken. Please note: Snowy is not even ‘snowy’, not really even ‘snow like’. A better name would be Patches, but Snowy it has been christened by Kristy, and Snowy it now responds to. This pussy cat even comes into our apartment! Cheeky, naughty Snowy!
Kristy and I saw lots of animals at the Perth zoo the other weekend – we love the zoo! And at the Perth zoo, they have Guides that walk around and explain things about the animals to you, which is pretty interesting. Probably the information I remember the most was about the gigantic tortoise. The Guide told me that you will often see the tortoise rocking back and forth and making strange sounds – apparently that is the tortoise masturbating (rubbing itself on the ground!)! TMI!!!!!! Oh, oh, and if that wasn’t enough! We were watching the Orangutans and there was a couple in together. The big male Orangutan was sitting in a tree, and he started urinating. The crowd watching (us included) all started laughing UNTIL.... the female Orangutan walked underneath him and lifted her mouth to drink his urine! It was like watching a car accident – you didn’t want to look, but you couldn’t peel your eyes away! The crowd (all together, like we had timed it!) went from laughing to going “Eee---ooooo---uuuuk”
Until recently, I have always had pets, especially when my children were growing up – I thought it was important to have pets around children. When I was at Mel’s the last time, she said to me that she wasn’t going to get Elle a pet, because she had grown up without pets, and it hadn’t affected her negatively. I couldn’t believe that I had heard Mel say this! I refreshed Mel’s memory with the pets we had when she was growing up: The dogs that lived with us at various times were Sampson, Kelly, Rascal, Shaggy, Zuka, Austin. The cats that lived with us at various times were Annie, George, Elvis and Coco. There was Wilbur the Budgie (who lived almost forever) and even a rat called Monty. That is TWELVE pets that Mel had forgotten about! When I reminded her, she did remember, but isn’t it amazing that she had totally forgotten about TWELVE pets!!!
For those of you who don’t know – my granddaughter, Elle, turned TWO on the 25th July!!!! I can’t believe that she is two already. I wasn’t there for her actual birthday, but I had flow down to Adelaide a couple of weeks prior, just to fit in a quick visit before I started work. Elle is adorable. Her favourite word is No. You say to Elle, “Do you want to go to bed?” and she replies “Noooooooooo”. You ask Elle if she wants to come inside, and she says “Noooooooo”. You ask Elle if she wants a lollie, and she says “YES!”. Elle loves shoes and brings them over to you to be put on – she loves her gumboots the most! She also loves Dora the Explorer – but who doesn’t!? Once you have seen that Dora, you can’t help but love her – OLA (Dora is Spanish, hence the OLA)
Mel, Elle and Mick have now moved to Wodonga, they have left Adelaide. They are all very happy. It was time to go. Now Mel is near family and she is so much happier!
Oh, oh, oh, funny story about my friend Karen (and this story really is funny!). When she was in New Zealand, a woman asked her what she did for work. Karen told her that she does Salary Packaging. The woman paused for a moment, and asked Karen, “Do you pack any other types of vegetable?” The woman had thought Karen had said that she does CELERY packaging, instead of SALARY packaging. Toooooo funny!!!!!
Emotionally, I have been up and down over these last 3 months. Logan is very unsettled, and so I feel unsettled, and a little bit down (really down sometimes and even a little devastated). Sometimes I find it hard to sleep. My job is busy and stressful at times, which builds upon my anxiety, however I also enjoy the job, so it seems to balance itself out. I miss Melbourne and my family and my friends, but I do like being here in Perth too. Thank you to all my darling family and friends who call me regularly and make sure they stay connected with me – it would be very hard if I didn’t have your chats. Kristy and I spend a lot of time and energy ensuring that we choose and send our nearest and dearest presents, cards or messages on birthdays and special occasions, because being so far away, we want people to know that we remember them and value them, yet still at times I feel very distant from everyone and everything – that just comes with travelling I guess. Lucky I have Kristy, she makes every day a sunny day (awwwwwwwwwww – it’s soppy but true).
I still look forward to Magazine Day (Wednesday) which is when the That’s Life and Take 5 come out. I haven’t won anything for about a year now, so I hope that means a major prize is around the corner.
I feel older (which I don’t like) yet everyone at work cannot believe how old I actually am (which I do like!). I am back on Weight Watchers (which is both good and blah, blah blah at the same time), however Kristy has lost so much bloody weight so I am determined NOT to stay the big fat sausage in this relationship! When did I become the Ompa Lumpa???? How did this happen???? I was size 8 to 10 when I first met Kristy two years ago! THIS CHUBBY MADDNESS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!! So wish me luck on my diet of celery (remember that Karen is packaging it) and sauce (if it hasn’t landed on my foot).
Mandy – hugs and love to you and your family. Sharon – thanks for the late night convo’s. Jake – you inspire me (and make me laugh a lot!). Dustey – it all leads to somewhere. Mel – Wodonga! Woooo hoooo! Karen – go get ‘em. Suzie & Theo – see you soon! Jody – congrats on the new job. Jodi – the zen is where you wanna be. Genevieve – an Environmental Scientist, I’m very impressed! Sarah – love the tatt! Vik – glad you are back from the not-holiday. Rahni and Alisa – you better get the dictionary out! Anita and Mark – see you and the pups soon!!!! Karen G – are you working? Craig – how is the new ute? Elaine – we look forward to meeting Rolly. Deb & Kylie – how are the twins (still milking them?) Peter – let’s talk soon! Cathy and Victoria, thanks for being my referees. Darren – see you when you get to Perth - Woot!
As Kristy always says on FaceBook – That Is All.
Speaking of driving, we have another car! Well, I have another car – it is a brand new Mitsubishi ASX, 4-wheel drive. No, no, I have not purchased a brand new car (as if!!! I don’t believe in buying brand new cars – they lose 25% of value as soon as you drive them out of the dealership!). So I hear you all asking, “So why does Linda have a brand new car if she is so against a brand new car?” Well, the answer is simple, I have a job that comes with a brand new car! Yay! And I have to say, this gorgeous silver car is a dream to drive compared to the Van! I love the van, but it sure is good to drive a zippy car that has heating and airconditioning. And... when I take the keys out of the ignition, the car says “See You!” to me (such a friendly!).
My new job is working for Baptistcare, in their HR area, within Learning & Development (of course, because that is what I do!). I have been at Baptistcare for about 6 weeks now, and I have to say that I have not ever worked for an organisation that is so lovely! Baptistcare is very committed to its Values and mission, and that really comes through in its culture. I have worked for, and with, some amazing people (e.g. Cathy, Suzie, Victoria, Peter, Robyn, Marie, Virginia, Quynh, Donna, Agnieszka, Kerrie, Karen, Erin, etc) but never have I worked for a place where EVERYONE wants to be helpful, sharing and works to make it easier and better for everyone. Also, Baptistcare are fully focused on the clients and residents, and everything they do, and every meeting they have, is about making the services better for the elderly, physically disabled and mentally disabled. I am loving the work that I am doing, however it is super busy at the moment and I find myself working 10 hours a day at times. I am currently in the process of recruiting a Training Officer so that I do not have to work these sort of hours forever. I even went into work today, Saturday! Well, aside from that there is a lot to do, I need the money, so all good. Kristy also went into work today. She did 45 minutes work to be paid a minimum of 4 hours!
On top of the work i am doing for Baptistcare, i am also running my part-time massage/beauty business in the evenings and on the weekends, and that business is really starting to take off! In fact, I am working all this Sunday doing massage. Ahhh, no rest for the wicked (thank God, cos it’s waaaaay more fun to be wicked than it is being good!)!
Oh, I almost forgot to mention, aside from Baptistcare being the truly nicest organisation in the world, they are also VERY respectable (uh oh). Some business meetings even start with a prayer – which I quite like, even though it is new to me (I like anything with a bit of ritual, pomp or ceremony!). And because we are a Baptist organisation, there is no gambling, drinking or swearing in the office. So, that means no alcoholic drinks on a Friday afternoon, no footy tipping (and they love their footy over here!) and people say “Oh Gosh!” instead of swearing. Although I am sure I have heard the occasion cuss word accidently slip out quietly under someone’s breath (scandalous!) and I maybe have, (just MAYBE I have), had a Terests moment, and dropped the F bomb (opps), but I am sure I had legal reason for doing so (actually I know exactly the reason – damn f@#*ing Excel formulas!). On a side note, I have yet to show my tattoo (haven’t seen one other person there with a tattoo!) and I have come out as gay only to my boss (the timing just hasn’t been right with the others yet – or maybe I am just scared – but scared of what??? Seriously, they are just Baptists, not murderers!)
Kristy is very tired these days, she is working long hours, but still enjoying her job. She likes it best when she drives out to Garden Island – which is an island where the HMAS Stirling is – that is a big naval ship. Garden Island is a navy island – a whole island, just for them! She doesn’t like delivering to Shell much though, they take her phone off her when she goes in there – sorry Kristy, no “Words With Friends” (game she plays on her iPhone) when you are in Shell! To be fair, who doesn’t love that game – “Words With Friends” – very addictive (Sarah, you would have to agree!) And I’m so competitive, I do NOT like losing (yes, Rahni and Alisa – prepare to never win again when you play against me!). If anyone out there wants to have a go with me, then add me – I am Lindaw333. Peter, if you are reading this – do not use cheats anymore – it’s just not sporting!!
I see in the last blog that I mentioned that Kristy and I were going to Rottnest Island. Yes, well, we went. It was average. It was too cold for snorkelling, so essentially, the Island Adventure was a little drab. Apparently the beauty of Rottnest is under the water, not above it, so we missed it. Still, it was fun to take the ferry out there (was only fun cos I took my anti-nausea pills first!) After taking the only bus around the Island – which was very crowded because it was cheapass Tuesday, we then sat on the grass and ate Easter eggs (mmmmmm).
We did see some Quokkas while we were on the island, so action did occur for about 3 minutes! Quokkas are actually nocturnal animals, however they raced pretty quickly out of the bush when Kristy dropped her huge chicken roll on the ground! This was the very same roll that was a foot long and she was boasting that it would last her all day. Hmm, I think she had 3 bites of it before it hit the dirt – and she just stared at it in shock when it was on the ground, in pieces. Then the little furry quokkas came out and started eating it! I touched a quokka (which looks like a cross between a rat and a small wallaby) but Kristy went one better and picked one up! I have the proof in a photo of Kristy holding a quokka up under its armpits (and I think, in that photo, you can see the remains of that chicken roll on the ground – is probably under the big sign that says “Don’t feed the Quokkas”).
Kristy is now playing football for the East Freemantle Sharks, and what a team they are! Like the people at my work, these footy gals are very friendly (must be that Perth people are just mostly lovely!) Also, they are a good team – they are undefeated! And (fanfare please and drum roll in your own heads) Kristy has now played a 100 games of football! This is quite an achievement. And the East Freeo Sharks did a banner for her and everything (although it was a couple of games after her 100th game, cos we all actually didn’t realise that she was playing her 100th game when she played it!–ooops!). Kristy is the BEST player in the team, and that is saying something cos the whole team is good. I am probably bias though, and when I am watching the game, I am only really watching her. Funny though, Kristy can come home from football totally black and blue, with massive bruising and scraps, and not really complain about how she was thrown to the ground and stomped on in a footy match, yet...if I accidently bump her little finger at home, she becomes a major sook – what is that about??? Kristy says it is because, when she is on the field, she is in “the zone”. I say, “toughen up princess” and be in “the zone” when you are at home (I don’t really say that, but I want to!)
Omg, that reminds me, Kristy has said 2 really funny things lately (what would a blog be without a Kristy-ism or two, or more). Karen and Nardie had come to visit us (love you guys – come again!) and we were driving to Margaret River (Kristy and I would live there if we could) and we were all in the car, and talking about babies. Three of us have had children (Karen, Nardie and me), but Kristy has not had children yet. We were saying how it is easy to put on weight after having children. Kristy said, “Well, don’t you lose weight when you are milking the baby?” Yes, you read that right... instead of saying “breastfeeding” she said “milking”. God I love her!
Oh, and also, the other day, we were walking down the street, and I was saying how we should take advantage of a sale that was currently on. And Kristy said, “Yes, we don’t want to knock a gift horse in the mouth.” When you think about it, that sounds much better than “looking” a gift horse in the mouth, doesn’t it!? However, my favourite of her mispronounced mottos would have to be when she told me that, in her group, there were too many CHEFS and not enough Indians. Gold.
Jake came to visit us in Perth too – it was so lovely to see her. With Jake, we went to one of the two gay nightclubs in Perth – The Court. Only 2 gay nightclubs! I’m so used to Melbourne where we have choices! The Court is very popular here, but I have to say that it was filled with a lot of straight couples – weird! You just wouldn’t find that in Melbourne – a gay club filled mostly with straight people. However, the crowd was good and the music was dancie, so we had a fun time.
It is very interesting, and slightly disconcerting, sometimes living here in Perth. Every suburb sounds like it should be 2 hours away and down the coast, (eg Salter Point) and a lot of the time I don’t know what is close by, or “up South” or “down North” or in the “wheat-belt”. When people say to me, “Oh just go up the Kwinana Fwy” I have no idea what direction to go in! And instead of saying “OH&S” here, they say “OSH” (can’t tell you how long it took me to realise that they were talking about the same thing!). At work (like at any workplace) they use a lot of acronyms. For a while it was like another language, however now I actually know what someone is actually saying when they tell me to check the ACC OSH DVD for the BSO at DBC (I’m not kidding – this is a true conversation!)
Interestingly too, in my new workplace, I have been trained up In Cert II Manutention (which is a fancy French form of manual handling). I delivered a short session the other day on the Fundamentals of Manutention and backcare, and someone in the group assumed that I was a physiotherapist! I really did wing that one well! The Manutention course was fun – I would come home each night and practice on Kristy. I can now flip someone onto a bed before they know what is happening – and I can make someone sit down or stand up, even if they don’t want to, just by touching and flexing certain spots on their body! Perhaps these things will one day come in handy?? If not, is just a fun skill to have. I have also delivered sessions on Infection Control - I know the really proper way to wash hands now (this totally supports my germ phobia – yay!)
Oh, a funny (well, not funny, more like ‘slightly amusing’) story – in the Manutention course -- I was putting out the lunch (it was catered for) and as I lifted the party pies and mini quiches out of the hot cabinet, the bowl of tomato sauce dropped. Luckily (please inject a facetious tone) that bowl of sauce landed on my foot. While it did have the “ouch” factor, and I said, very loudly, “OH NO”, sauce on the foot is obviously not a life-threatening event. HOWEVER the others in the group did not see what dropped on my foot. All they heard me saying was OH NO and all they saw was all this red, thick stuff on my foot. They thought it was blood!
People rushed over.
I explained that it wasn’t blood.
People backed off (no-one wanted to clean the sauce off my foot – wonder why!)
People had to eat party pies without sauce that day.
People said to me that I was not to unpack the catering in the future!
Oh yes, and we now have a ½ pet. Well it is not ½ a pet (obviously, because that would be gross), but we spend some time with a pet that belongs to someone else. This is, of course, Kristy’s doing. Snowy (Kristy has even named this pet) the Cat now regularly comes to our place, crying (loudly) in misery to be fed. Kristy feels very sorry for Snowy so she feeds Snowy (mind you, Snowy has a home 2 doors down, and is quite a big, healthy looking cat). As we don’t ‘officially’ own a cat, we don’t have catfood. So lucky Snowy gets given salmon (mine), tuna (Kristys) and roast chicken. Please note: Snowy is not even ‘snowy’, not really even ‘snow like’. A better name would be Patches, but Snowy it has been christened by Kristy, and Snowy it now responds to. This pussy cat even comes into our apartment! Cheeky, naughty Snowy!
Kristy and I saw lots of animals at the Perth zoo the other weekend – we love the zoo! And at the Perth zoo, they have Guides that walk around and explain things about the animals to you, which is pretty interesting. Probably the information I remember the most was about the gigantic tortoise. The Guide told me that you will often see the tortoise rocking back and forth and making strange sounds – apparently that is the tortoise masturbating (rubbing itself on the ground!)! TMI!!!!!! Oh, oh, and if that wasn’t enough! We were watching the Orangutans and there was a couple in together. The big male Orangutan was sitting in a tree, and he started urinating. The crowd watching (us included) all started laughing UNTIL.... the female Orangutan walked underneath him and lifted her mouth to drink his urine! It was like watching a car accident – you didn’t want to look, but you couldn’t peel your eyes away! The crowd (all together, like we had timed it!) went from laughing to going “Eee---ooooo---uuuuk”
Until recently, I have always had pets, especially when my children were growing up – I thought it was important to have pets around children. When I was at Mel’s the last time, she said to me that she wasn’t going to get Elle a pet, because she had grown up without pets, and it hadn’t affected her negatively. I couldn’t believe that I had heard Mel say this! I refreshed Mel’s memory with the pets we had when she was growing up: The dogs that lived with us at various times were Sampson, Kelly, Rascal, Shaggy, Zuka, Austin. The cats that lived with us at various times were Annie, George, Elvis and Coco. There was Wilbur the Budgie (who lived almost forever) and even a rat called Monty. That is TWELVE pets that Mel had forgotten about! When I reminded her, she did remember, but isn’t it amazing that she had totally forgotten about TWELVE pets!!!
For those of you who don’t know – my granddaughter, Elle, turned TWO on the 25th July!!!! I can’t believe that she is two already. I wasn’t there for her actual birthday, but I had flow down to Adelaide a couple of weeks prior, just to fit in a quick visit before I started work. Elle is adorable. Her favourite word is No. You say to Elle, “Do you want to go to bed?” and she replies “Noooooooooo”. You ask Elle if she wants to come inside, and she says “Noooooooo”. You ask Elle if she wants a lollie, and she says “YES!”. Elle loves shoes and brings them over to you to be put on – she loves her gumboots the most! She also loves Dora the Explorer – but who doesn’t!? Once you have seen that Dora, you can’t help but love her – OLA (Dora is Spanish, hence the OLA)
Mel, Elle and Mick have now moved to Wodonga, they have left Adelaide. They are all very happy. It was time to go. Now Mel is near family and she is so much happier!
Oh, oh, oh, funny story about my friend Karen (and this story really is funny!). When she was in New Zealand, a woman asked her what she did for work. Karen told her that she does Salary Packaging. The woman paused for a moment, and asked Karen, “Do you pack any other types of vegetable?” The woman had thought Karen had said that she does CELERY packaging, instead of SALARY packaging. Toooooo funny!!!!!
Emotionally, I have been up and down over these last 3 months. Logan is very unsettled, and so I feel unsettled, and a little bit down (really down sometimes and even a little devastated). Sometimes I find it hard to sleep. My job is busy and stressful at times, which builds upon my anxiety, however I also enjoy the job, so it seems to balance itself out. I miss Melbourne and my family and my friends, but I do like being here in Perth too. Thank you to all my darling family and friends who call me regularly and make sure they stay connected with me – it would be very hard if I didn’t have your chats. Kristy and I spend a lot of time and energy ensuring that we choose and send our nearest and dearest presents, cards or messages on birthdays and special occasions, because being so far away, we want people to know that we remember them and value them, yet still at times I feel very distant from everyone and everything – that just comes with travelling I guess. Lucky I have Kristy, she makes every day a sunny day (awwwwwwwwwww – it’s soppy but true).
I still look forward to Magazine Day (Wednesday) which is when the That’s Life and Take 5 come out. I haven’t won anything for about a year now, so I hope that means a major prize is around the corner.
I feel older (which I don’t like) yet everyone at work cannot believe how old I actually am (which I do like!). I am back on Weight Watchers (which is both good and blah, blah blah at the same time), however Kristy has lost so much bloody weight so I am determined NOT to stay the big fat sausage in this relationship! When did I become the Ompa Lumpa???? How did this happen???? I was size 8 to 10 when I first met Kristy two years ago! THIS CHUBBY MADDNESS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!! So wish me luck on my diet of celery (remember that Karen is packaging it) and sauce (if it hasn’t landed on my foot).
Mandy – hugs and love to you and your family. Sharon – thanks for the late night convo’s. Jake – you inspire me (and make me laugh a lot!). Dustey – it all leads to somewhere. Mel – Wodonga! Woooo hoooo! Karen – go get ‘em. Suzie & Theo – see you soon! Jody – congrats on the new job. Jodi – the zen is where you wanna be. Genevieve – an Environmental Scientist, I’m very impressed! Sarah – love the tatt! Vik – glad you are back from the not-holiday. Rahni and Alisa – you better get the dictionary out! Anita and Mark – see you and the pups soon!!!! Karen G – are you working? Craig – how is the new ute? Elaine – we look forward to meeting Rolly. Deb & Kylie – how are the twins (still milking them?) Peter – let’s talk soon! Cathy and Victoria, thanks for being my referees. Darren – see you when you get to Perth - Woot!
As Kristy always says on FaceBook – That Is All.
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