No hoodies needed here!

First of all, I have to say thank you to Perth for the BRILLIANT weather. Kristy, especially, is loving it. There isn’t all that much to update the blog with this time, but in the interest of not leaving it too long, here it is... Oh, word of warning – there is some toilet humour in this episode. If you are under the age of 16, you will need parental approval.

I am travelling a lot with work at the moment, not aeroplane travel, but car travel to rural areas. For e.g. I have been down to Albany (going there again next week),Margaret river a few times (it’s a hard life!!), Busselton, Manjemup (near Denmark - remember that tree-top walk Megan), etc – all places down South of Perth. Lately have been travelling with Marion, my newest staff member. She is so funny, talks non-stop with a very thick Manchester (England) accent, in fact sometimes I do not even know what she is telling me – I have perfected the art of nodding in a uncommitted manner (you know, those times when you are not sure if you should be saying yes or no). She says a few things wrong, and often (when I can understand her) it makes me laugh. For example she was telling me how she watched “2.5 (she said it as Two-Point-Five) Men” last night. I said, “Do you mean you watched Two & ½ Men?” She said, “Yes, that’s what I said. Ummm, no Marion, that is not what you said.

The first time I went on a country trip with Marion, she forgot her hair straightener, and as she is very girlie, she did not cope at all without it. I didn’t notice any difference with her hair, but apparently it was “frizzy” and “boofy”. I made a lot of fun of her though, just because I could. However, she was the one laughing the next time we went away because I forgot my clothes. I had my underwear and PJs in my little suitcase, but left 3 whole outfits at home (they were on coat hangers, hanging in the spare room). So I had to weat the same outfit for THREE DAYS in a row!!!!! I now intensely dislike that grey cardigan! The next time I went away, I hung the clothes in the car the night before. No way was I forgetting my clothes again!!

Speaking of clothes, Kristy has a new t-shirt that she loves and wears all the time, and how much did I laugh when we saw an TV ad for Kath & Kim, and Kim was wearing the exact t-shirt!!! It could have been worse I suppose, at least she wasn’t wearing the same outfit as Kath.

My puzzles are still happening, but no recent prizes. K and I are hoping to win a campervan (it was in the latest That’s Life magazine – cross all your fingers and toes for us!). K likes to help me do the crosswords, and a few weeks ago, she was doing a crossword and she asked me to help her with a very hard clue, which she read out to me while I was doing the dishes. The question was, “What is a spiky dessert plant?” I’m pretty good at crosswords, especially the ones in That’s Life, but I was really stumped with that one – a spiky dessert plant? Was it something super exotic? Was it served with icecream? I then went over to K and looked at the clue and saw that it actually asked “What is a spiky DESERT plant?” Hmmmm, KRISTY!!!!!

I got to sleep-in today, which was great because last Saturday was a rude awakening by Kristy. I woke up with her standing over me, telling me that we had a serious problem. Worried, I woke up quickly, and told her to calm down and tell me what was happening. She said that she had just done a gigantic poop in the toilet and that it wouldn’t flush away because it was too heavy! Yes, Kristy gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, “shit a brick”. But, once I stopped laughing, I realised we did have a problem, because I didn’t want a big poop living in my toilet, and I was starting to need to go to the loo, and there was no way that I was going to the toilet to do my business over her business. So I suggested that she put bleach in the toilet, thinking that it might soften and break up the poop. But no, that didn’t work. After half an hour of constant flushing and no movement from that stubborn poop, I said she was going to have to get a stick and poke that poop until it broke into bits. Kristy, with her head hanging in shame, proceeded to do just that. And it worked. The poop was gone. YAY!!! Poop success!!!! By the way, we thought this might be a one off incident; however Kristy did it again – but luckily I was away on a business trip, and K also knew straight away what to do this time. She just went immediately for a garden stick and poked that sucker until it could be flushed. If you are wondering what she is eating to create these heavy poops, let me tell you that she is on Lite & Easy. Ummm, there seems to be nothing LITE coming out the other end, that’s for sure.

Continuing on with bum humour, last night I was sitting in the lounge and I was looking out across the balcony and seeing the fireworks going off. It was beautiful, and I was feeling all lovely and zen-like as I watched the night sky being lit up with colours. Kristy was at the kitchen table and she couldn’t see the fireworks, but she could hear them, however she didn’t know that they were fireworks because she said to me, “Are you farting?” I couldn’t believe it! It is rare that she ever hears me pass wind, let alone that I pass wind in front of her that sounds like a pyrotechnic display!!!! Multiple farts are just not my style. Thanks for ruining my zen-like mood babe!!!

Oh, and good news! Kristy’s Mum and Dad are coming to visit us here in Perth – for Christmas! Kristy is so very excited – she has already purchased the Christmas decorations, booked the trips (and accomodation) to Margaret River and Jurien bay and purchased Anita’s alcohol for her visit (don't worry Mark, we will definately not forget you - beer is being purchased next weekend for you).

Kristy and I did a touristy thing in Perth recently – we hired a quad bike and cycled up and down the Swan River in Perth city. It was fun, and we were thrilled when we saw dolphins swimming in the Swan river – so close to the city!!!! Kristy tried to take photos, but those dolphins were not hitting the surface long enough for her to take a picture!

In brief: The KD Lang concert is not far away and I just can’t wait! My work is still out of control busy (is that because I am travelling all over the countryside instead of sitting at my desk doing my work?). My mum is moving out of the Retirement Village. I sold my car (am sad, had it for years). I got a speeding fine - $150 for going 55 kms in a 40 km zone (Damn! It was 6.00am, and no cars about, except mine and a police car). Kristy is addicted to ANOTHER game on her iPhone (I think her phone is super-glued to her hand because she is rarely without it). Karen is a dodo (she told me so I know it’s true). Alex is nearly one year old – Happy Birthday little man. Elle is talking a lot more, and can now unlock the front door at home – Oh No!!! Mel, thank you for all the support in regards to my illness. I made a cauliflower, ham and parmesan soup last week and it was beyond delicious. I’m almost caught up on all my assignments for the Diploma of Business. Kristy is getting skinnier (prob all her chubbiness is coming out in the poops that she does). Megan – have you dumped the bum? Rahni and Alisa, the Abode gals! Tony, Skype is coming soon. Mick and Sarah – sending you hugs.